It feels like a case of the Mondays.  But, if it is every Monday, is it something more? 

oh the what if game...what if I didn't take the long way today?  what if I didn't stop for a coffee?  what if I took the extra time to read the story?  if I didn't work a million hours a year?  what if I stayed home more?  if I laughed more?  if instead of piling up the paperwork and emails, i piled up paintings and library books?  what if it is time for a change?  sometimes we have to work through all of the what ifs before we're ready to make a move.  sometimes the lack of change is the change.  sometimes we have to jump on the opportunities we didn't see coming.  sometimes we don't over think everything we do and just jump and wait and see what we hit below.  sometimes we get surprised.  sometimes we break our legs.

sometimes it doesn't make a difference.  you open yourself up at the strangest of moments and then you wait.  because what is the harm in asking?  what is the worst case scenario?  can being honest put you in a position worse than you were?  does saying the words out loud help take the weight off your shoulders even if the situation hasn't changed?  does sharing the burden make it lighter?  who knows what will happen next?  who knows which of the what ifs matter.  time knows I suppose and she's really the only one who can tell us where we'll end up.  but when it's all said and done, my guess is the questions we ask and the secrets we tell are the ones that make all the difference in the end.